Gollum the Great
by Elessarfanatic
Summary: In this story Gollum shows his true colours for heroism and all the lord of the ring characters fall for him ( well almost all ...) Man, don't I love Smeagol...


Gollum the Great  
A story by Elessar fanatic  
  
* A note from the author* I wrote this a short while after I fell in love with Estel, I was thinking about his charming character and seriously scrumptious body (I won't go into too many details, it could get a little embarrassing.) when suddenly I came across a shut door in my mind. Behind this door I realized for the first time (I think!) that Aragorn is in fact not the hero of lotr as I have always fought, and that the sly, slithering, slimy little creature Smeagol was the hero all the way through (sorry about the alliteration today). If our wonderful friend had never found the ring in the first place, anyone could of picked it up (maybe even Saruman) and if our cute critter had not destroyed it, Saron would have reigned for a long and dark eternity. So this little piece is dedicated to Gollum the great, without him Middle Earth would of died long ago (a very fatal death.) Three cheers for Gollum (hip-hip-hooray!) and anyway (if you think about it) Smeagol is really quite sexy (mmm, yummy!). I love you Gollum . . .  
  
Chapter 1 - Arwen proclaims her love  
  
In this chapter, the hobbits and Aragorn (sigh!) have reached safety at Rivendell. Arwen and Aragorn are currently alone in the gardens.  
  
Aragorn, on seeing the Lady Arwen, approached from behind and mischievously tweaked her small and slender nose with his dirty, sweaty bear like hands. "Dunadan, I knew you would come," Arwen smiled sadly, turning round quickly. Aragorn seeing the remorse in her eyes and sensing the tense atmosphere of how she greeted him, wrapped his long arms around her waist, hugging her tightly. "Why did you call for me? The fellowship will leave at the rise of sun, I will be sad to leave you, I have spent so little time with you. Still time is always a gift," he said, kissing her gently on her delicate forehead with his blistery lips. Arwen looked deep into his eyes for a long time. The birdcalls faded away, flowers began to shut their heads as night began to fall. Hurry up and frown, sense something is wrong, Arwen thought urgently to herself as the numbness in her legs started to grow in her cold and hard backside. Finally, as if Aragorn read her mind, he pulled from her embrace. Holding her at arms length, he frowned. " Why are you so sad, Evenstar, is something wrong? I know you will be tormented by the lack of my love when I leave, but surely you can cope with that, for my names sake?" He frowned. Arwen stiffen, pulled from his grasp, and turning her back on him walked to a little peak in the ground. Looking down she watched the stream play across the rocks and let the fresh wind flutter upon her face. Aragorn left her a few minutes, and then followed her, his big boots crunching the leaves underfoot and ruining the peace of the silence. "Alas Alas! Tell me what is wrong," he cried. "I am so sorry .", she began. "For what?" Aragorn cried hysterically, cutting her short. He held out his hand for her, but she did not take it, he withdrew it, his eyes filling with tears, pleading with her like a little puppy. "As I was saying, before I was rudely interrupted, I am so sorry Aragorn. I hate to break your heart, but I am afraid I will never marry you, never," Arwen whispered, smiling sadly although her eyes were also filling with tears. "NOT MARRY ME! How can you say that Arwen, you who was the first who loved me, the only one who ever has," Aragorn cried, he now was not only crying, but also red in the face from rage. Arwen backed away yet again. "Please have pity on me, it is not my fault, but while you were away rescuing hobbits I met a young man, and. and." Arwen sniffed fearfully. "I am sorry Arwen. Tell me of the lucky man who deserves your love more than me. I will envy him, but he is yours. I cannot buy your love. I will grin and bear it like a man," Aragorn pronounced, shaking like a leaf. Arwen raised one eyebrow at this, but did not say anything, this was partly because the only thing she could think of to say would have been quite funny to her, but would of given Strider a considerable amount of pain. "This is ill news indeed. A lonely man am I, but please Arwen, tell me his name, that even I may brood upon it and wish by fate's hands that I had been born him." Aragorn drove the toe of his leather boot into the ground, disturbing a rather pink little worm in the process. The worm was not very happy and wiggled off to his wife. Aragorn sniffed loudly at this, he would never have a wife now. "Aragorn?" Arwen asked. She patted his hand awkwardly. "If I tell you, .although it is very hard, will you sing me our song one last time? I may never see you again, but will think of you constantly. Especially of how good you've been to Elladan and Elrohir, nevertheless I will always remain your humble little Undomiel forever," Evenstar smiled. Aragorn looked up from his now very dirty boot and rather large hole in Elrond's flowerbed. He bent down so that he was on one knee and began strumming an imaginary guitar. " OH BABY, I lOOOOVVEE YOU SOOOOO, YOW! AAAAAAHHHHH!! YOU'RE MY BABY AAAAAHHHHHH!! YOUR SOOOO SEXY ." He screamed at the top of his voice. "NO, NO, no Aragorn not THAT one, the other song," cut in a beetroot faced Arwen, whose eyes darted up to Elrond's house, thankful no one had heard that little disaster. "Ahum," coughed Aragorn embarrassingly, "Sorry." " Little angel, little angel, oh how I'd love to be like thee, oh little angel, little angel, beautiful and free. " Arwen smiled joyfully at Aragorn's low and husky singing, and on stepping forward planted her last kiss on Aragorn's cheek. "That was beautiful Strider, I will remember it always." Aragorn got up off the floor and dusted his trousers off. "Will you please tell me now? The world is changing now, I will have to go soon, be quick Arwen dear, so that the pain is over with a jolt," he said, not making much sense. "The, the mmaan, man . goes bbbyy by the name Gollum., "she stuttered. "GOLLUM?? The creature I have been pursuing?? GOLLUM you say? The evil, slimy, shy, sly, abominable THING???? GOLLUM???" He screamed waving his arms around like a windmill and nearly catching Arwen in the head. She ducked just in time. "Yes, Gollum," she confirmed. "NNNNNNOOOOOOOOO, no, it can't be, Gollum? Bollum? Gollum I mean? Smeagol? The Smeagol? The one and only Smeagol? The thing that is possessed by the ring? What? Why? When? Where? How? Why? Why? Why? AAAAAAHHHHHH, NNNNNNNNOOOOOOOO! No collum, gollum, perollum? O! O! O!" Aragorn ranted, rounding on Arwen, who quickly put a distance between herself and Estel. He continued to sob and rant, while she observed him sternly. "Aragorn, pull yourself together, you told me you'd take it like a man. Why are you then on the floor banging your fists upon the ground? If you continue like this Glorfindel will come out to see what the noise is about. Do you want him to see you like this, eh?" She said urgently. Aragorn looked up sheepishly, he once again stood up and dusted himself off. "Does Elrond know about this? When did you meet the barbarous, crude and dark Gollum? Tell me that, eh, eh, eh?" He said cruelly imitating Arwen. "Oh, no Aragorn son of Arathorn he does not know and you must swear to me that you will not utter a word of this to anyone, I will not answer your questions until you do, swear the old oath we use to do," Evenstar ordered. Aragorn sighed before laying his hand across his heart and repeating this, "I speak upon a swear that I will never tell, upon Gil- galad's life and Tinuviel the elven fair, immortal maiden eleven wise, I shall never speak a word, the old kings of Gondor receive this turd." Arwen nodded her head, and then shook her head on Aragorn's own addition, the word 'turd'. "I met him when you were away, I spoke to him when riding to the River Andiun in search of you, he told me he had escaped the elves. He was so cute and fair, big, blue, watery eyes bulging out of his pale grey face, never before had a looked upon a being so dazzling and right. So right, I instantly fell for him. I spoke to him for a long time; he was so sweet calling me his precious although I think he had a speech problem. But we could always communicate other ways. I then sent him in the right direction, but not before I had kissed him goodbye. Immediately after I went to Isildur's Bane and took a vow, I would marry this helpless Gollum, Smeagol, whatever you call him." "I forbid you to marry him, that is final," Elessar commanded Evenstar, his arms folded across his broad chest. "Aragorn you are forgetting I took a vow, I have to marry him, sigh, now," She laughed. "No Arwen, you can't, don't you know he is evil? He has been inside Mordor, spoken with the enemy, Saron, you cannot do such a thing, it would be going against your nature, and your father's wishes," He cried. Arwen laughed again to this, the braids of her dark hair bouncing on her shoulder. "I have always had a rebellious stroke in me, even you know that Elessar," she giggled. Aragorn suddenly grabbed hold of her shoulders, "Do not be so foolish," he shouted. Arwen pulled away from him and ran from the gardens, she stopped on the path, and looked down on him. "I knew you would not take it Aragorn, but it is so. I will keep to my word and you yours. I forgive you. May the star of Elbereth shine upon you, one day we may speak, but until then farewell." Turning on her heel she disappeared into the cloudy darkness and left Aragorn alone and crying.  
* Author's note* Well what did you think? Sorry about the little bit of Macbeth lingo recited in there (not my fault). I hope I have now given Gollum some love, I will continue to write later, look out for the next chapter. Poor Aragorn I feel a little tight in taking Arwen away from him, but hey he can have me now! So people get reviewing I need to know what you think. Walk in the shade Elessar fanatic trillianthethreeheadedmutantslug@yahoo.co.uk  
  
p.s. willowras if ur reading this - hes mine Mwa-ha-ha-ha-ha (sucker!) 


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